Sunrises
by rain aoi ame
Summary: After long nine months, my long awaited dream, our baby will be born today.


Sunrises...  
  
:::A Kenshin and Kaoru love story:::  
-KK forever-   
  
Another simple day, a very unadorned sight and yet, It is full of magnificence. The sun was up, but I was first. I always wake up early racing against the sun. We used to do this before, him and me... We would wake up early, earlier than the marvelous sun, a stunning horizon, enjoying the warmth of each energy striking in my soul... in our soul... We were young and also very... in love, I often read and hear people say such astonishing sayings about love but it's just now... It's just now that finally... I finally understood all of them... love does not ask why because it is a reason itself. It does not ask what if because it takes all risks and love does not ask until when because it knows no time....  
  
Life was basic for me, I wake up and smile at my heart's content for heaven is right beside me, you gave me so many sleepless nights, all of which I dream of seeing you angelically sleeping in your chambers. I do admit, I think of you, all the time. Is it because you define the mere essence of a gentleman? Is it because you show me all these abnormal emotions or is it just because you are too inevitable to resist...? And all that I could do is just give in and... fall...  
  
I would practice Yahiko or most of the time, shout and call you 'baka'. One of my bizarre ways of saying I love you... but most of the time, my mind drifts of somewhere... I acted weirdly, or should I say, more sparkling ever since that solitary day, Plain as it may look but I had the time of my existence, all the 17 years of my life, it is only by now that all my smiles come form my heart. I watch still, the crimson silhouette of the sphere creates an amazing picture. But still your smile, you... perfect than any picture in this world...  
  
I could visibly remember, everything comes so clear. I sat next to you witnessing hundreds of sunrises... And below, just below this blue-crystalled sky, I could unmistakably see your face, engulfing the clouds so pure and white. It sure is you... It was Kenshin's face in there, then I would eventually raised my hand craving for the touch of his face, pretending that he was near, But he is near, He lies silently here in my heart.  
  
I was starting to cry again but I'd later wipe them, knowing that Kenshin, my Kenshin would not be happy, it has been 8 long months that I see my prince in this wide ocean sky. Each day for me was a blessing; my only hope is about to happen... I still continued what we always do, I would still wake up and walk along the riverbed where he first held me tight, his warm embrace. I still sew clothes, in fact I make tiny garments now and it's all thanks to Tsubame, she has the patience to teach heard-headed Kaoru all day while I eat and eat. I couldn't persist on giving Yahiko his daily lesson, they all advised that especially Megumi. She was always worried of my condition, but I was okay, I never felt so contented like this... I would never regret the time I met him, no, nope, not even a single minute will I regret. I'll be thanking him my whole life for what he gave me...  
  
Violet peonies dance like ballerinas in the clement air. The sweet aroma fills me inside; the sunflowers reflect the radiating sunbeams fall in perfect place. Twinkling butterflies blossom in mid-summer. Cherry petals, descend down on me and I can breath his scent... I miss him but I'm not afraid, I'm not alone because he's with me...I just know that his arms are around me. An intimacy with his heart and mine... together... And just thinking of his memory makes me complete again, whole again because I know even my eyes may not see him, my heart will always be with him, that's for sure, I know it. After long nine months, my long awaited dream, our baby will be born today.  
  
I shall call him...Kenji...It was a month before I knew, after one month, after that one night when we... he did not know any of it, he... without knowing that I'm carrying his child, the cause of one unthinkable, magical experience.  
  
Sanosuke, Misao, and the others were very surprised but I was happy, proud that here in my womb, I carry his seed. I felt so grateful when Megumi gave the results. My heart raved from overwhelming sensations; he changed everything in me, from being so stonehearted, to being crazy in love. He gave me wings and I started breathing. Because of him, my eyes saw a special outlook in life. For the very first time, I felt that I have lived for a reason, and that is to be the woman who would love him like no other. You gave me everything; form being a woman, to being a mother...  
  
Kenji... he whispered... he whispered so amiably to me that night... he whispered in my ear while his perfect body was above mine...when I was united with him, body and soul. ... It was the most mesmerizing thing but the most immaculate incident in my life... tender butterfly kisses fell gently in my face, shield with his captivating warmth. It's amazing how our bodies fitted perfectly to each other. Soft lips brushes into mine, I could hear his faint breathing, I never want that night to end...ooohh Kenshin... I close my eyes; the sweetest lips ever to be found... then he whispered Kenji... Kenji...such a sole name. I wondered but that angelic name echoed through the early mist and comforted the cold wind of the dawn... now I know... that's the name he wanted me to give to our son... Kenji...  
  
Now I have proven...he was mending to propose that night... although we acted as a couple for the past years, I tortured myself with the idea thinking I was such a low, pickle-minded girl who couldn't control her feelings, but who could blame me? I just kept on falling more and more hooked on him everyday, everything in him seems to cascade deeply taming my heart. Who could have not done what I did? I was a girl, in love with a samurai; I met one day in the road... I stayed affixed, staring at his face, while he was carrying me to his chambers; even his scar attracts a chill down my spine. I loved everything about that man. I wanted my mouth to protest but something in my body and perhaps my soul couldn't resist his charms...the next thing I knew, I was never the same again...  
  
Now I know... he really wanted to go on with his life...a new start, to make a family... and he chose me. Thank you Kenshin...thank you for showing me what the world really means that night... There were instances that I wanted to punch him so hard for being so dense but then hurting him would surely come back to me twice. The way he cooks for us and how he keeps everything in order here in my kendo, how he can deal with any challenge and how he plays with children and make them paint innocent beams on their faces, how to make them laugh and how to make every woman love him... indeed, I was given such a perfect man... oh kenshin...  
  
Fate has the power to change everything. I wanted to die at that very moment. My life, my soul mate, all taken away from me. My everything lying there with his own pool of blood... I was tormented at that moment, at that scene I saw, why? Why in front of me? Why must he go?Why?... Why right below my feet? Why does he need to...? Why?... Why?... those are all the questions, the words I could say... why did you go... I wanted to shout and cry so loud, so loud that all the people in the whole world would hear... why is he being so reckless?!  
  
He knows that I will never be Kaoru without a Kenshin, without him, he knew that I would be a tree without leaves, a flower without its scent, a rainbow without color, an ocean without its water, a sun without warmth, a human without a heart. I need him, so much... Why does destiny hate me? Why now?  
  
Now... Now... that we're having our baby. Why didn't he take me away with him? Why?... Why just not me? Why must it be him? The only man I ever gave myself, I ever loved, Kenshin Himura. Kenshin why did you? Why did you leave me!  
  
I still want to embrace you and wrap myself in your protective arms. I still want to lie down below you and surrender my life to you when you touch my every part... I still want to shout your name... to moan it... Kenshin... When nighttime creeps down, I still want you to be my cover... my protector from the coldness and for all the challenges...  
  
I still want to have a future painted in your life... No where to be but just by your side...  
  
To run and chase you after you tease me again...  
  
To fix your bed each morning... To dine together with you...  
  
I still want to watch you sleeping after our sessions... I still want to kiss your lips... To touch your hair... To feel your touch...your body... I still want to hold your hands... I still want to feel human warmth...  
  
I still want to look into your eyes... Hear you speak softly... See you smile...  
  
I still want to whisper I love you... And you, saying that I'm the prettiest woman in the world... I still want to be the mother of your children... To share the passion bursting together inside ... I still want you...  
  
I need you... I still need you to be the source of my life... Kenshin Himura, I'd happily give myself before him a thousand times... His life was given to the woman he love, he saved me... Enishi...  
  
He always hated my Kenshin more than anyone, he blamed him for his sister's death... he came to avenge and he succeeded in his plan, but the real victor for me was still him...my shining armor. Security was found in his mellow eyes, I melt everytime he stares at me... I would shout inside but I would try to remain silent, keeping all the cherished emotions inside for the whole world might overflow... because of how much I felt. I refuse to believe that my ultimate joy has been...  
  
Sorrow and grief were all that I see. He swore that he wouldn't leave me, his only treasure even it would cost him his life, he will, even he had to die a hundreds times, for the only girl, now a woman... he will... he will... I knelt down and held him, talked to him, told him that he had a promise... cried saying that I know he will fulfill his vow, his vow that night...no matter what... "I will take care of you forever...Kaoru Kamiya, please be my wife..."  
  
Even my voice failed to speak, all I could do was embrace him... and my tears dashed through spilling in his bloodshed face. How I gave all the prayers to stop time even just for a while, close to him, hearing his heart beating, I would then be alive, I never want to let go, I was calling God inside, a call I never tried too hard in my whole life, just now...  
  
I was shaking, afraid that someone would take my beloved away, and then he whispered before his last breath... "You will never be lonely... Ai shiteru... Kaoru..." He reached out to wipe my tears. God, I don't want to loose these soothing touch... I put my hands to feel his weak palm. Hold me forever... Kenshin......please don't leave me .....  
  
He is my greatest warrior because he has my heart and up until now... he still have it. He was my only one and will always be the one hero... forever... I taught I could never go on, that I could never stand up and face the world. Everything was nothing without him.  
  
But then, I am going to be a mother, a good mother, that's why Kenshin chose me, because I am strong, I can make it...I know what true love is, it's right here, inside my womb...this baby heartens me to live my life to go on and still be happy. You taught me so many things; a lot which I wouldn't have known if I didn't find you...changed me into a woman with a pure, strong heart. There would surely be a day, a sunrise, symbolizing a bright future... When you're sad, just look at the sky and then the sun would be shining at you, smiling... Love never offers any goodbyes. There is a bond between his soul and mine that will be entwined without end and I touch my swollen belly with my hands that has his ring... our engagement ring, blazing red in color. And this he made clear that if there are sunsets, following them are always sunrises... and I know, when I deliver Kenji to the world, I know he is smiling down at me from heaven...  
  
Owari  
  
I taught I could never see the sun again  
  
Then, you came... just when....  
My heart whispers through the night...  
That you're beside me... holding me tight...  
  
I will continue because of this strength...  
I will always be strong...because you will spend...  
Knowing that you're with me...  
Is enough for me to go on till the end...  
  
We will always be together...  
Even far away, holding hands...  
Watching each others eyes...  
Secure arms...  
  
Lying silently... you live here inside...  
  
The love we have, yours and mine...  
  
And you... all I need through and through....  
You... here in my heart... all I need to continue...  
  
AI SHITEIRU...  
  
I LOVE YOU...  
  
burning flame (2001)  
  
REVISED BY: blueraindrops©Sunrises2003 


End file.
